Ripping through my mind like a high voltage electric shock of disbelief, writing this piece had me reeling with laughter and astonishment. I admit initially, I underestimated this topic of strange museums. It was an assignment for Associated Content and hey, it looked fun. And Hey, it was.

First and foremost it is impossible to arrange these museums in a matter of importance, or a structured best to worst or worst to best for that matter. Like I stated above my head is still reeling…..

OK, we must begin somewhere. Let us scamper to none other than a Plano, Texas essential must see.

THE COCKROACH HALL OF FAME MUSEUM.

Now listen up here, you katsaridaphobia suffering pansies, this museum will either make you or break you, so visit at your own risk!

Tucked away near South fork Ranch (where they filmed the TV show Dallas) is a place called The Pest Store. Displayed are a number of roach dioramas. “Liberoache” tops the list of stunner’s. However, the most intricate is a mechanical Psycho display where a little roach dressed in a housecoat and wig skirts along a tiny track from the Bates Roach motel office to Room 1, with a mini knife in its creepy cockroach hand.

Beware not all the insects are dead. Inside you will find a “live” display of monster exotic hissing roaches which recoil and “hiss” if you touch them. That is, if you want to touch them!

Next, let us head over yonder to our next psychotic museum which just happens to share the Great State of Texas (Texas topping the list with 2 weird museums)! Step inside Huntsville’s own,

TEXAS PRISON MUSEUM.

Fancy yourself an eye full of art constructed by some incredibly bored inmates. And in a state that annually incarcerates approximately 150,000 offenders with a 2.5 billion dollar annual budget. That means plenty of free UN-commissioned art in the future! Move over auto license plate crafting and expose your inner Warhol. In existence since 1989 this museum offers up a intriguing  glance into the lives of Texas’s least-loved citizens. Moving from inmate expression to the Capital Punishment Exhibit. Displays an abundance of execution memorabilia such as “Old Sparky,” the decommissioned electric chair in which 361 prisoners were executed between 1924 and 1964. Let’s not forget to take time to ponder the genius of the Prison Contraband Exhibit. This is a collection of prisoner constructed make shift weapons that reveal the sinister creativity always hidden just below the surface of a gentle axe killer. Y’all come back now, ya hear?

Texas is disturbing me, let’s jump the pond and browse Kent, England’s,

DOG-COLLAR MUSEUM.

This flee-bitten exhibition showcases antique dog collars which tell over 500 years of canine history, the museum itself is located inside of Leeds Castle, and attracts more than 500,000 visitors every year. The dog collar collection counts over 100 unique items that present the history of canine-wear starting from early medieval times to the Victorian Age. Engraved silver collars from the last century, some created by leading silversmiths of the day, Like an 18th century English brass collar that simply states; “I am Mr Pratt’s Dog, King St, Nr Wokingham, Berks. Whose Dog are You?” So take that into account the next time Paris Hilton flaunts her next Pygmy pup in all of it’s bling bling splendor.

While still in bland foggy Great Britain one must see the most boring of all museums. Introducing,

The CUMBERLAND DERWENT PENCIL MUSEUM of Keswick, Cumbria, UK.

Visit this miserable corner of the Lake District and spend six and a half hours looking at the worlds largest pencil and try to figure out a way to impale yourself on it’s pointy tip. Bland as the English food this place reeks of boredom, let us travel on please.

While still in Europe why not go to church in Italy.

THE CHURCH OF THE DEAD MUSEUM that is. Located in Urbania, Italy.

Though a little known fact, over the years churches have played a large part in intentional mummification, a practice which ended in the late 1800s when it was finally made illegal. The discovery of natural mummies under churches was an unintended consequence of the Napoleonic Edict of Saint-Cloud handed down in 1804, which forbade burial in churches and within settlements for hygienic reasons. Churches, like The Church of The Dead in Urbania, began to move their internal cemeteries to new ones outside city limits. Excavators found (to their horror) that corpses buried below or within these churches did not decay as one might expect–the bodies still contained flesh and hair. Truly a gruesome glimpse into Italy’s past.

America the beautiful here we come! Lets jump back across the great pond near Boston Mass. Where we arrive at our next stop,

THE MUSEUM OF BAD ART in Dedham Square, Massachusetts.

Proving beauty is indeed in the eyes of the beholder. This is a unique presentation you simply wont find in any traditional gallery. Not just a collection of trash art, more so a housing of independent works from local North East residents. Most everything is for sale at a reasonable fee. Covering about every genera from kids, crafts to sports, books and even bad art greeting cards. This is a pleasant change from our tour so far, so don’t forget to linger here for a minute.

Now lets hit the road and head west. We will be working our way back to Los Angeles so I can go to sleep and you may hit the beach! Stopping next at

THE MUSEUM OF BARBED WIRE in where else? La Crosse, Kansas.

Now don’t get caught up to long working your way around this bizarre museum. The days of the open range are all but silenced by this simple invention. History has often referred to as the “Devils Rope”. On exhibit are over 2000 barbed wire varieties; including samples manufactured between the years 1870 and 1890. Hundreds of antique fencing tools illustrate the inventiveness of pioneers. Don’t miss one of the most unusual specimens in the museum, an authentic Ravens nest built primarily of barbed wire. This mighty nest is a monumental tribute to the ingenuity of our feathered friends.

Do hurry we must travel to Burlingame California indeed, to visit and taste our next stop

THE MUSEUM OF PEZ MEMORABILIA.

This should elevate your glucose levels to near diabetic proportions perusing the walls of this place!

Their pez exhibit is paramount. Containing everything that is associated with the pez legacy. Every toy and candy stares at you with tempting delight. If only, they weren’t hidden under glass to protect their wishes of be consumed, this place would simply not exist to tease future visitors. Luckily the place has a noteworthy store so you may stock up on enough sugar to get us down to southern California where we will visit the second to last odd museum on our journey.

The MUSEUM OF TOLERANCE. Located at 9786 West Pico Blvd, Los Angeles, CA.

One can only describe a visit to this museum as riveting. In the end you can easily understand the the message of tolerance. Yet initially you will leave disturbed to put it mildly. In fact you may even question humanities evolution in the way of compassion towards our fellow man.

From The Holocaust Exhibit to The Tolerance Center your senses will be flooded with man made devastation on a wold wide scale. Days, weeks, months, even years after visiting you won’t tear the images from your skull.

And speaking of skulls, lets finally wind down this off the wall experience with our final stop.

The Museum of Death.

Glistening like a tomb in the warm California sun and located on the boulevard of broken dreams at 6031 Hollywood Blvd Hollywood, CA. There couldn’t be a better location for this museum.

Perched beside a doctors ofc give it a sense of irony and once in side you’ll be immersed in everything past tense. Bathe yourself in the morbid. The Museum of Death houses the worlds largest collection of Serial Murderer Artwork, Photos of the Charles Manson Crime Scenes, the Guillotined Severed Head of the Blue Beard of Paris, Henri Landru, Original Crime Scene and Morgue Photos from the Grisly BLACK DAHLIA MURDERS, a Body Bag and Coffin collection, replicas of Full Size Execution Devices, Mortician and Autopsy Instruments, Pet Death Taxidermy, and much much more! You will find there is no age limit and as their website states, “because we all die”!

Now you sickos’ get lost, and go soak up some sunshine. This has been a taxing trip for us all.

By,

toddcomplex@hotmail.com